October 2008

Warning! This column may be monitored or recorded for quality purposes.

This means you Marvelle Stump.

No cussin’ while you are reading.

No snoring.

No spillin’ barbecue sauce on the pages of this magazine.

No sassy back talk!

No drinking Jack Daniels chased with Pabst Blue Ribbon while you’re reading this column.

And, absolutely, no hard breathin’! It makes me nervous.

I’m still mad from last month’s column which was all about this lousy economy. I’m tired of hearing from printing companies all over the U.S. who are down on their luck.

You all must have been on vacation and didn’t read the September column. Or, if you did read it, then you ain’t doing what I asked and you are doing nothin’ about fixin’ the economy, Right?

Come on, guys! Let’s get busy.

I laid out a plan for all of you on how this great printing industry could singlehandedly lead the way to the restoration of prosperity for at least the middle class folks who make under $5.0 million annually. That $5.0 million, by the way, was one politician’s definition of the middle class. Maybe he meant $5.0 million for lifetime rather than annually. If he meant annually, then I want to be reclassified to the middle class.

This is the big Graph Expo edition of Printing Impressions and it will be read by a lot of printing executives who are at McCormick Place in Chicago to look at equipment and supplies. They need some HOPE.

They need some CONFIDENCE that the economy is going to improve.

They need to read the details of the Mañana Man’s 2008 Economic Recovery Plan.

First I will summarize what I wrote in my September column. It’s worth repeating.

The Mañana Man Trickle Up Graphic Arts End the Recession Plan

Step One – You can’t shake the pocketbook blues hangin’ in your office in fetal position under the desk. Keep that up and you won’t have a desk. You got to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go call on ten prospects/customers each day. Don’t ask why, just do it. Remember your low life competitors will be in fetal positions under their desks or, even better, home in bed with the covers pulled over their heads. There’s your motivation. Your competitors are in bed. Soon you will start getting orders and soon you will be smiling for real and then, no more antidepressants. Okay, that takes care of your attitudes.

Step Two - Next, all owners must raise prices by 11.5%. Most of the customers won’t even notice the increase but if they do, tell them your costs have zoomed up over the past twenty years. Remember we must have 100% participation among all printing companies in all printing segments from packaging to books to publications to brochures to newspaper inserts. Now our sales are up 11.5% and it all fell to the bottom line so profits are up 11.5% and you can start paying on time and hiring back some of the good people you laid off. Your suppliers are doing better and they can hire new people and pay their suppliers on time so there is spreading of the sunshine and no more anti-depressants. We have begun to put a dent in unemployment and we are beginning to invest in wind farms and solar panels. Gosh, I’m good!

Step Three - Next, owners have to spend four hours each day figuring out who the salespeople will call on the next day and using MapQuest to route them efficiently. The buyers will get the idea that you want their business. Now this thing is spreading like a wind-driven forest fire, feeding on itself and, yes, we will lose some of your crummy competitors who didn’t read this column. You can damnsure make ten calls per day to end this economic tragedy and it ain’t gonna get better until you make it better.

Step Four - You have to adjust this plan to your circumstance. You could be serving an industry or buyer segments that don’t even have ten buyers and they are spread across the U.S. but don’t quibble with me or whine, just adjust and be creative.

Here are more components of my economic recovery plan.

1. If you are reading this on your laptop or Blackberry in a Starbucks, and you’ve been there more than thirty minutes, then WALK OUT RIGHT NOW!
   Go call on a prospect.
   
2. Call all of your outstanding proposals (live quotes). I once rode fifty miles in the dead of winter through Iowa with a print salesperson. It was team call on a great prospect. My salesperson asked the buyer about the quote she provided in August. The buyer responded, “Oh, I awarded that job in late August.” Inexcusable. The salesperson had made no effort to sell when the decision was still open.
   
3. If you are working a crossword puzzle, put it down and start listing your prospects. Or writing creative letters to the prospects who have not returned your phone calls.
   
4. If you are watching TV six hours per day, stop now! Start researching your prospects and customers on Google.
   
5. If you eat lunch in the car in the company parking lot and then take a nap, stop now. Invite some prospect to lunch or at least take a nap in a prospect’s parking lot.
   
6. If you play Solitaire or Backgammon on your Blackberry or some other handheld device, STOP NOW! Go do something that will contribute to your sales growth. For example, you could read one of the Maňana Man’s books for a few minutes to help you have an idea. Any idea that leads to a new customer.
   
7. If you are wasting time texting your spouse, significant other or insignificant other, STOP IT NOW! Instead write “Thank You” letters to every customer who printed with you last month. This is called marketing and it’s called staying in front of the customer. You are building positive awareness. Less than two percent of all print salespeople send thank you notes.
   
8. For that matter, less than five percent of all print salespeople made four prospect calls last month. See how easy it is to win and move into the middle class? Soon you may have five or six houses.
   

Your economic efforts will spread across all industries and the White House, the old president, the new president, Senators and U.S. Representatives will all take credit for saving the economy. But you guys will know. It all started here with your beloved Mañana Man and he spread to you and you spread it to your customers and the trickle up effect wiped out the great recession of 2008.

Now, put down that coffee. Close the magazine. Push out of your chair and get out there and sell something! We are on a mission to restore the economy.