The underachievers and the mediocreacheivers want to become overachievers. Lately, I’m getting email and phone calls from overachievers who seek an escape to mediocrity. They say overachievement is too much pressure. I’ll explain.
Overachievers are in the top tax bracket. The sons and daughters of overachievers want new cars, the latest fashions, monogrammed IPods and their own credit cards. Their spouses want club memberships, BMW’s and million dollar plus homes.
The overachievers’ bosses are forever demanding more, more, more! The bosses lean on the overachievers because the underachievers cannot be motivated. These printing company owners may be getting 30% - 40% of their sales from one overachiever. Some others may be getting 50% to 60% of their total sales from just two salespeople. It’s likely, since these sales are produced by the best salespeople, that these sales are the most profitable for the company.
The owners know they have too many eggs in too few baskets. They worry, “What happens if my superstar is wooed away by a competitor? Or, what will I do if My Winner is struck by lightning and can’t remember her way home and she forgets the difference between web and sheet fed?”
The answer is scary. The owner realizes he won’t be able keep up the payments on the six-color.
So the load never lessens for the Superstars. It is expected that every year be better than the last. It’s no wonder some of these accomplished salespeople are looking for a way out; a quiet avenue where they can stroll beneath elm trees and stop to smell the roses.
Who else would they turn but yours truly, the Maňana Man? For he is A man who is all knowing, the fountain of all sales knowledge.
If you want to strive for mediocrity, you must start by fixing your appearance. Every day must be a bad hair day. Nails should either be too long or bitten too short and, above all, dirty. Start shopping at consignment stores for ill-fitting and tired clothing. Your clothing should either be too tight or way too large. Women should wear tops that show ample décolleté (for Marvelle Stump this means cleavage).
Try to wear garments that are poor match both in texture and color. For men this could mean brown double knit slacks with a plaid wool jacket. A textured nylon shirt will do well with this outfit. Shoes must be unshined and well worn.
Oh! Try to remember to sweat a lot.
The hair, the fingernails, the clothing and the décolleté are all distractions to the sales process and will significantly impair your sales results. You’ll find an immediate reduction in your success and you will have made some real progress toward mediocrity.
Now, let’s work on your conversational skills and it will be good practice if you will read aloud the bold face as I take you through some exercises.
“You know what I’m sayin’”? Try that.
Now, let’s use it in a sentence.
“The earth is round; you know what I’m sayin’?” Through practice you should work to make this phrase sound like one word, “Yunowadamsain”? Try to use it often and sometimes two or three times in the same sentence.
Begin to use the word “like” as often as possible. For example. “Like the earth is, like, round (and quickly add) Yunowadamsain”?
Try that a few times.
“Yunowadamsain” can be shortened effectively to “you know”. Use you know at the beginning and end of sentences and even sometimes in the middle.
Here try this, “You know, like the earth you know is, like, round,
Yunowadamsain?”
Here is a nice variation. “You know what I mean?”
Now let’s work on a transitional word. It’s “um”. Um enables you to think of your next statement so it works as a filler. Let’s practice.
“Um, um, you know, like the earth you know is, like, um, round, um Yunowadamsain?” Perfect! That was good. Keep working on these exercises and your sales will melt fastern’ the ice in your Southern Comfort on the fourth of July.
Listen to professional athletes when they are interviewed and you will get the hang of using these phrases in all your conversations. They do it effortlessly.
Next I will deal with some big DON’Ts!
Do not ever ask for the order. It’s unprofessional and could make your customer feel uncomfortable. If the customer wants you to have the job, they’ll say so. Meanwhile, don’t you pester them. They will just see you are using the tawdry practice of CLOSING and maybe never invite you back.
Do not ever plan annually, monthly, weekly or daily. Spontaneity is much better. It will mean you worked when the spirit moved you. That’s it! Just work when moved by the spirit. You won’t be so tired and stressed from overseeing all those jobs to make certain all those customers are satisfied.
Who cares? You’ll be satisfied, you know what I mean?
Do not ever maintain a prospect data base. People keep changing jobs. Companies are moving all the time. Keeping up the data base is just way too much trouble. If some prospects want to print with you, they will call you.
If the big boss schedules a sales meeting, do not attend unless cocktails are being served. Make up some plausible excuse. Something like rescuing your neighbor’s pit bull that was stuck in a tree. Anyway if you attend the sales meeting, the boss may just single you out for his criticism, or his advice or his suggestions and you don’t want to hear his drivel. If he knows so much, what’s he doing owning a printing company?
Here is an important DO!
Do develop an attitude. It should be a whining, sniveling, complaining attitude. It’s the only way to get through to people. It’s all they understand, nowadays.
Try to talk about yourself as much as possible. People need to know your problems and what concerns you. In fact, try to do most of the talking and you will find that at lot easier now that I’ve given you several transitional phrases.
Soon, everyone will begin to shun you and at last you will have some peace and quiet and some well-deserved mediocrity.
Remember, I’m here for you.
The rest of you should get out there and sell something! I’m here for you too.
